Gray
by TunaForDesert
Summary: Amongst the nights he spent alone in his apartment, Kuroko refused to shed any tears for what he had lost. A story without an end did not exist. [Happy ending, promise] [College setting]


Kuroko Tetsuya gazed impassively at the person standing up on the gym's podium, who was the center of attention. Akashi Seijuurou's strong and firm voice echoed inside the gym, enrapturing anyone who listened to him. Kuroko, the blue haired and pale teen, was no exception, although it was for an entirely different reason. It was his first day at Todai, a Tokyo University, and he had been tested by fate.

XXX

Three years, three whole years, Akashi Seijuurou had refused to acknowledge his previous involvement with Kuroko. Their first and early second year at Teiko had been sickeningly sweet enough for Kuroko to remember. Third year was when they started to drift apart from each other. Since the other Akashi appeared, Kuroko felt conflicted. Although he knew that the heterochromatic boy was not _his_ Akashi-kun, he was still a part of Akashi, the flaw in Akashi. Sometimes, Kuroko felt guilty, because if the other Akashi was accidentally created by Akashi-kun to keep himself from falling apart, shouldn't Kuroko accepted the other Akashi as well?

Apparently, just when Kuroko reached the conclusion that it was time for him to stop being selfish and finally learn to accept Akashi, the redhead returned to his original self. Kuroko would have been jumping with joy, if it had not been for Akashi's blatant refusal to involve himself with Kuroko as nothing more than an acquaintance. The shadow was hit by a strong realization that Akashi refused to be reminded of their previous relationship.

Ever since then, Kuroko avoided Akashi.

Meeting each other was always unwelcomed since it would create a very awkward atmosphere. They wouldn't say anything to each other, not until the other started first, and it always ended with Kuroko leaving without a single word being uttered. Their urge to avoid each other continued until they finished high school. Kuroko should have expected Akashi to enter one of the best universities around, but Akashi choosing Todai out of all of the other universities was out of his range of understanding. Akashi was eccentric like that.

XXX

Three months. It had been three months since they had started attending Todai. It was not hard to avoid Akashi, seeing as the redhead was always busy with his schedule. And Kuroko once again turned into the nameless, invisible shadow that nobody in the faculty knew existed.

Kagami and Aomine had flown to Europe chasing their dreams to become professional basketball players. Kise had gone to an aviator school much to his friends and fans' surprise. Heck, even his agency and manager did not expect that. Midorima went to another university to become a doctor. Murasakibara had been taken in as an apprentice by a pâtissier. All in all, the Miracles had scattered, and Kuroko did not know if any of them had kept in contact with the others. He, himself, had cut off all ties he had with anyone he knew from high school and middle school. Even Kagami did not know how to contact him.

Seirin was nice. Seirin was warmth. Seirin was family. But in the end, even the closest tie had to be broken at some point of time. Kuroko was sure some of them had found their own circle of friends. From what he heard last, nobody knew where Tsuchida-senpai, Koganei-senpai and Mitobe-senpai went. Coach, or rather former coach, was in a steady and slightly abusive (courtesy of her) relationship with Hyuuga. Kiyoshi unexpectedly became Izuki's own shadow, following the pun lover wherever he went, not that Izuki minded, rather, his family had unofficially adopted Kiyoshi as another addition to their home. The former freshmen trio went to the same university. Kuroko did not know what course they were taking or the careers they were planning to take.

Once again, he was all alone. And this time, Aomine was not there to pick him up. There was no Kagami to show him the other world. And there was no Akashi to brighten up his. Ogiwara was not with him to become a friend, or a loyal listener. Amongst the nights he spent alone in his apartment, Kuroko refused to shed any tears for what he had lost. A story without an end did not exist, he knew that. But that did not mean he did not want to return to the time where everything was colorful, where he could feel happiness, frustration, excitement, resentment, anger. His current world was even lonelier than the time before he met Ogiwara. The six years he had spent in company of other people made him felt more lost than ever.

And being in the same place as Akashi almost every day nearly literally killed him. Seeing the redhead from afar, yet not being able to approach _just to_ _speak_, to have the redhead _know_ that he was there, pained him more than anything. Kuroko had considered of moving to another region, but that would be an inconvenience both to him and his family. So he stayed. He stayed, even though he was dying from the inside each day. He was slowly withering away, and it would be only be a matter of time before the time comes.

The time where Kuroko Tetsuya would only be an insignificant existence in the life of another.

XXX

Kuroko Tetsuya stared and stared, hoping that this was not happening, hoping that this was merely a misinterpretation in his part. But that hope was crushed into dust as Akashi Seijuurou stood a few meters in front of him, red piercing eyes looking at his person intently. Kuroko wished he was never there, that he never forgot to turn in his assignment, that he was not a diligent student that was so stupid to stay behind so he could-

The blue haired teen released a sigh. He did not know what to expect. Inside, he was numb. He felt numb because he did not know what to do. Akashi was standing in front of him, inarguably and definitely. He looked around, and did not know whether to be relieved that nobody would see what would happen next or scared because, nobody would know should Akashi hide his body later. Feeling a bit ridiculous, Kuroko turned back to his unwelcome company.

"Hello, Akashi-kun."

The short sentence seemed to snap Akashi back from whatever muse he previously immersed himself into. He blinked and looked at Kuroko, undecipherable emotions in his eyes, and Kuroko felt a bit of relief because at least Akashi did not show any sign of resentment.

"Kuroko."

The teen flinched at the way Akashi said his name. It was, as much as Kuroko denied it, exhilarated. Akashi looked at Kuroko with emotions that the pale teen never saw in his fearless former captain. The redhead was overjoyed. The light in his eyes pained Kuroko to look at it. He did not know what to expect from that, so he turned and started walking away. That's right, he should have walk out of there since the beginning. Now Akashi knew that he was here, at Todai. His life would not be the same anymore.

XXX

He was right. The next day, Akashi caught him after class, manhandled him to the back of one of the faculty's buildings and strings of apology came out of his mouth.

Kuroko stared at Akashi. Blue eyes met red ones, trying to decipher what Akashi hoped to accomplish by doing this.

"It's alright. I was the one who was persistent. I'll never appear in front of you anymore."

Kuroko turned to leave again, like he did every time. But this time, Akashi grabbed his arm and turned him around. Kuroko was torn between being overjoyed or scared by their close proximity, but resentment made its way and overpowered the other two emotions.

"Akashi-kun, I'm sorry that I had inconvenience you but it would do us best if you just let go of me now. I would try my best next time to avoid you. So, please let go of me, and we'll never cross path again. Please, do not make me feel more apathetic than I am now."

Akashi released him. Kuroko once again turned to leave, but instead found himself captured between Akashi and the wall. The arms on either side of his shoulder decreased the possibility of running away. Akashi moved his body closer to Kuroko, his red, red eyes hidden from the world.

"Kuroko, is it too late for us to start all over again?"

Kuroko froze, the words mocking him repeatedly from the inside.

"No."

With that single syllable, Kuroko moved Akashi's arms and walked away, again.

For the first time after being alone again, Kuroko's world became a bit colorful, and he finally cried because it was not as bright as he hoped.

XXX

Akashi persistently tried his best to keep in touch with Kuroko. They had different classes, but that did not crossed out the possibility that Akashi came by to Kuroko's classes so he could at least spend a good three minutes to coax Kuroko for a small chat.

Until one day, Akashi met him with a sad face. Kuroko did not even resisted when Akashi once again manhandled him, dragging him into one of the empty and secluded classes.

"Why were we so stupid?"

Kuroko stared at the redhead in front of him. Akashi looked lost, for the best or for the worst; Kuroko just hoped he did not do anything stupid.

Akashi suddenly engulfed him with a tight hug. Kuroko froze and his books dropped to the ground. Akashi tightened his grip and breathed in Kuroko's scent in the way that always left the shorter teen lightheaded.

"What are you doing?"

Akashi made a small distance between them, though the arms remained around him. The redhead bumped his forehead to Kuroko's, red eyes stared, and contemplating something that Kuroko was not sure of.

"Is it because we're too young and immature? Even though we loved each other more than some adults do? Tell me Kuroko, do you still love me as much as I do, and will forever? I'm not sure what to make of this, but I am sure as hell that I will not let you go this time."

The blue haired teen felt conflicted after a long time. He stared into Akashi's red eyes. There was regret, fondness, frustration. Kuroko looked down, even as he leaned onto Akashi.

"I don't know what you are talking about. I should be happy about this, but what happened before was not something that I should forgive."

"Kuroko, look at me," the shorter teen complied, "I'm afraid you misunderstood, Kuroko. Although I that was most likely because of me."

"I loved you, and I still do. I never stopped. These feelings were always there for you, even when Seijuurou came out."

Kuroko looked into Akashi's eyes, silently asking for an explanation.

The redhead smiled softly, "I'm sorry for being stupid. I'm sorry for hurting you when I'm not supposed to. I'm sorry that I prioritized winning over you. I'm sorry for being a possessive jerk when I'm being Seijuurou. And I am truly sorry for not trying to face the reality. I am sorry for being a coward."

Akashi tightened his grip around Kuroko, "I am sorry that I ran away when Seijuurou was gone without hearing you out. I thought you would have hated me for being the reason that your world fell apart."

Kuroko felt exhilarated, but at the same time he wanted to cry, "What do you mean, Akashi-kun? Did you really think I could have ever hated you?"

Silence was his answer.

Kuroko swallowed the sob that was threatening to come out, "We really were stupid back then. I'm sorry for not trying to reach out harder."

"I'm sorry for being a coward."

"I'm sorry for not understanding what you felt."

"I'm sorry that I loved you and made you loved me back."

"I'm sorry for loving you and hurting you for doing so."

"I will never run away again."

"I will not abandon you again."

After a long, long time, Kuroko Tetsuya's world became colorful, as bright as sun in the sky. But rain and storms would come by, and Kuroko will withstand it this time without giving up and seeking protection that would shut him from the rest of the world. He's not alone this time.

* * *

End.

**A/N**: I was really, _really_ unsure about posting this. But my beta said it's good enough.

* * *

Edited version © LenXKagamine12234

黒子のバスケ © Fujimaki Tadatoshi


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